Far too often we see ceremonies that are built without the input of the couple. This results in a cookie cutter ceremony, one with many elements that do not represent the couple at all. Celebrant's believe that because it is your ceremony, you should have a say in how it goes!

After I have read the planning form and the questionnaires, I stop and think about who you are as a couple. I consider the things you do together in your spare time. I consider books that you love, movies you like, songs you sing together in the car. Then, I get my hands dirty! Spending lots of time digging around, I find or create ideas for you to consider in relation to rituals you might use, readings you might like, creative processional ideas and much more. You name it, I come up with ideas for you! I had a bride recently tell me that she would do all of the research but was greatly relieved to find out that I would do that for her!

Once I've gathered ideas I put them all together in a document outline and I send it to you to go over. This is where your input is so valuable and by giving me feedback about what you like and don't like you help me to create a ceremony that really fits you. The outline I send consists of elements that you have shared that you liked (such as unity rituals, vows, etc.) as well as elements that I think you might also like. We then work together to decide how these elements fit together in the ceremony and I prepare to write! By the end of the outline, you should feel that you have chosen elements that you love and can see yourself being a part of on the big day.

Next week-Drafting and how you play the biggest role of all

The most important thing about a Celebrant ceremony is getting to know the couple. I'm not talking about just meeting up with them once and calling it a day. No! I MUST know my couples to write a ceremony that really fits who they are. There are several ways that I learn about you.

First, I always need to know some of the ceremony logistics such as when you will arrive, who I will need to be in contact with on the day of, who's walking the bride/groom down the aisle, and much more. In order to learn about those aspects of your big day I send out the planning form. Filling this out gives me an idea of how you see the big day progressing and who will be part of it. Through this form I will also learn what color outfit you would like me to wear and the attire color of the wedding party. It might seem silly for me to know these things but it's one step of discovering how I can make your ceremony perfect.

After you have completed the planning form I send both you and your betrothed a list of questions designed to help me get to know your love story as well as more about you both individually. I ask that you answer these questions SEPARATE from one another and that you NOT share your answers until after both have been sent. The differences in what you say helps me craft your ceremony and bring to focus the feelings of you each individually.

Once a couple has sent me the planning form and the questions, we move on to the next step!

Next week-the outline

Here begins a blog series about the process I take from start to finish with my clients!

The process usually begins when a potential client contacts me through WeddingWire, The Knot, or through my website. An e-mail comes to me with the information of the couple and I always respond. Depending on my availability for the day of the wedding, I plan to meet up with the couple! If I am not available, I always offer other Celebrants as suggestions.

Sometimes, especially if you live in the same area as I do, our meeting will take place at a coffee shop, normally a Starbucks (it's a great, relaxing place to chat). Other times, if a client lives out of town or out of the state, I will have to meet with them over Skype or FaceTime. 

No matter where we meet up, the initial conversation is usually the same. I spend some time hearing about you and what you are looking for in an officiant. Then, I explain how a Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant is different than your ordinary officiant and explain how I can be of service to you. At that point, when you choose me as your Celebrant, we sign the contract, collect the first half of the payment (check, cash, or card), share e-mail addresses and phone numbers (if we haven't already) and I make plans to send you a few items to move the process along!

The initial conversation usually takes between 20 and 30 minutes but by the end of our meeting you will have a great idea of who I am as a person, what I do as a Celebrant, and how I can help you make your ceremony dreams come true!



Next week-The questionnaires and planning form