Ceremony and Ritual-Hire an Expert!

When I meet with potential clients I begin my explanation of the work I do by explaining that I am a ceremony and ritual expert. I often find that there is some confusion surrounding what I mean when I use these words and so I dedicate this blog post to my personal definitions of ceremony and ritual. Please note that these are NOT the dictionary definitions...I repeat...these are NOT the dictionary definitions! That being said, if you are interested in reading my take on ritual vs. ceremony, read on.

---

---

What is Ceremony?-Heather's Definition

When I think of ceremony, I think of an overall, general celebration but not the pieces within it. We can have a whole variety of ceremonies including weddings, commitments, vow renewals, house warmings, baby honorings, full moon ceremonies...you name it, we can do it! I like to think of these titles as the ceremony itself. To me, a ceremony is the full process we take from the start of the ceremony to the end. It's kind of like the forest overall. So then, if the ceremony is the larger piece of things, what on earth is a ritual?? Ah yes, these are the trees within that forest. 

---

What is Ritual?-The Details

I had a situation come up not long ago that looked like this:

Bride-We would like to do the unity candle ceremony.
Me- Sure! We can do that ritual!

So why did I call the unity candle a ritual and not a ceremony? It's simple really. To me, the rituals are all of the parts in the ceremony that bring you from being an unmarried individual to a married person. This includes things like the ring exchange, the vows, the asking, the unity ritual of your choice, and maybe even breaking the glass at the end. All of these are rituals because they are encapsulated within the overall ceremony itself.

An important note on the word "ritual" as well. Too often people think of rituals as having to do with religion of some sort but that is not the case at all! We do rituals all the time to bring us through things. We might wear a lucky sock to an interview or even carry a certain key chain with us while driving because it makes us feel protected (I have a Captain America key chain that serves this very purpose). When the Celebrant you are talking with says the word "ritual" don't panic! They aren't asking you to get all religious!

Hopefully this sheds some light on how I use the words "ceremony" and "ritual" when talking with my clients. When working with a wedding professional, don't be afraid to ask what certain words mean or why they are being used a certain way. This is your special day and you deserve to be on the same page as those you are working with!